ground

So I spent the day focusing on my breath when my thoughts ran off in all directions… and I moved my chores aside one at a time. Bought fresh fruits and vegetables at the Farmer’s Market- and a plant to hang on the ceiling hook I found this morning. Visited the Hospice and Human Society Thrift stores, picking up items to make my room into something... other than a disaster area. Bookshelves were key in that. Hit Target on the way home to fill in the gaps. I had to talk a bit, so as not to be rude.

“Where did you get that plant?”
“From that nice lady over there.”

“Would you like a pint of organic raspberries for $3?”
“Hell yeah!” (add to frozen bananas and strawberries with yogurt and cinnamon, you have a funderful smoothie.)

I finished the rest of the insurance paperwork, organizing receipts and creating one last spreadsheet, filed all my school paperwork, found the floor in my room. One key purchase: a cheap plastic cup. Filled it with water, opened my wallet and dumped both my credit cards into it. Placed it in the freezer and shut the door. Time to start living within my means.

Knocked out 100 pages in my bio core book about skeletons and took a hot bath. I have one more nostril breathing exercise tonight to make three for the day.

I don’t get to spend tomorrow in the same silent state. A friend of a friend traveled to Denver to see a boy; they had a falling out and she’s stranded until Tuesday; that's a difficult situation to be in. We’re going up high to see the aspens peak. Some things are more important.

Today was so short but it gave me something to aim for. Maybe long periods of silence are unrealistic in this current lifestyle, but little bits every day, or a few times a week are very doable. It was less not-talking and more a mindfulness of the silence, of not reaching out for the phone every spare second, not spending huge chunks of time returning every email- all these habits I've somehow developed since being back. It was noticing how the leaves in fall look like flowers, what my teeth feel like, touching, what smells accompany which beautiful scenes. Smiling as I ponder why The Sacred Heart of Jesus School was playing “She Talks to Angels” by Black Crowes during their Fall children's party. It was returning to the ground below my feet and being here now.